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Finding The Hope to Heal: A Site for Survivors of Sexual Abuse

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Linda's Story

This could be triggering so be careful and if you think it will trigger you please dont read it. you dont have to if you dont wont to i dont mind.Its written through the eyes of the kid that I never was.

(written in third person)

This story is about a friend of mine it started when she was six, when ever it was time for her to have a bath ,her dad made sure that it was him or bathed her so that he could take pictures of her and thats what he did when ever it was time for him to dry her he would tell her to stand in different position and show what ever she had at that age so he could take photos he took them by using a polrod camera so they did not have to get developed this went on for about six months she did not know what he did with the pictures untill her dad died and when clearing his things up her brother found them well thats what he said and told her he throw them away even though she does not know if he did or not.

At bed time he would make them go to bed at 6 and check up on them at around 8pm he would check on the boys first them he would go into her room and tell her to get out of bed he would then go close to the bed and tell her to touch his penis she did not wont to but had to do what he said. He then made her work him up into an erection and when he was ready to release he told her to lift her nighty up and he eject all over her stomach and then give her something to clean it up with and tell her dont say anything its are secret if you do say anything the family would be split up you kids will go in a home and it would be your fault, so she did what he said and kept quiet this went on for about 6months and on most nights he would do it.

He then started to touch her he would start by touching her breasts while she was working him up to a erection,it was not long before he would touch her more privite parts her vigina and putting his fingers inside her to make it wide enough for his penis which would be later,he then started to put two fingers in her anus to make it wide enough again for his penis which he intended to do when the time was right. He did that for about two weeks by then he was able to insert his penis into her both ways he did not care if it hurt her or not the worse was anus sex as it was still tight but he forced it in and started to have sex with her their was a lot of pain but she could not say anything just hide it which was not easy to do.It was when she was about ten her brothers got into the act her dad would check to see if they were in bed then would go into her bedroom and tell her to get out of bed and and take her nighty off then with in ten minutes her brothers would be at her bedroom door and john the oldest was told to put his fingers in her anus to relax it ready for him to insert his penis inside which he did and had sex with her,then david was told to do the same they were then told to go to bed and go to sleep he would check that they did go straight to bed. Then he went back into her bedroom and started to have sex with her but he would never eject inside her always on her stomach and told to clean it up, during this abuse she would look at the ceiling and her mind would leave her body it was the only way she could live with it, it was more like watching it happen more than feeling it at the time.

It was hard for her to understand what was going on as during the day her dad was like any dad should be take her out buy her things let her have pets,help her feed them but all that changed at night she could not make it out why he did it for.
Her mother was no better she would have nothing todo with her,she would take the boys out shopping and leave her at home,one day the dog bit her and when her mother came home said it was her fault for teasing the dog she would not believe her when she said she did nothing.
Her mother would shout at her if the boys did anything wrong as it was her fault,if she got realy mad then she would throw things at her and she would never miss one time she did that she had a big bruise and her dad asked what happened she told him her mother throw some thing at her when he asked her she said no i did not but her dad would not believe her and he would hit her and say dont you ever do that again some times when linda came home from school at dinner time she would find her mother upstairs crying saying i will not be here when you come home so linda would go to school thinking she will not be there when she gets home, but she always was then when her dad was at work she would be in trouble with her mother because her dad protected her so much, she did not care about her daughter so what was the problem some one had to care about her even if it was for hes advantage.

When she was eleven or twelve her dad made her have oral sex with him this always made her feel sick and when he left her to go to sleep she never could she would be crying when he checked on her. He told her to go downstairs when he was downstairs he would say you had a bad dream stay here for about twenty minutes then go back to bed and you will be able to sleep,but she could not so school work was not too good she was always alone would not mix and the teacher would ask whats up but she could not say anything so the teacher told her to stay in at break time as she was bullied always through school it never stopped they used to fight with her after school but she would not fight back people would break it up but as soon as they left they would beat her up again, all her dad said was hit them back. In the end she just fliped one day when her friend started to beat her up, she thought back and nearly put her friend in hospital but that did not stop kids picking on her, the neighbours kid started a fight she could not handle it no more and hit back she fractured her nose and her sister came over and started so her mother just shut the door and they put there fist straight through the glass in the door, as usual linda got the blame for it.

The abuse from her dad and brothers went on till she was fifteen then it just stopped but when she was seventeen she was looking after her dad as he was bad night and day she had to do it he tried to have sex with her again then but she said no and would not let him, he was not allowed to lie down when he went to sleep but when she was asleep and woke up she would find he was in bed with her he would just not give in.

Then things got bad she always argeued with him and she walked out three times but always went back she felt she had to look after him. Dont know why she did i would not have after what he did to her.

After her dad died her brother asked her if they could do the things again that they did as kids, he did not realise that it was wrong. So linda said no it was wrong it should not have happened in the first place when they were kids he has not asked again.